God does use pain as one of his teachers…Ultimately he battles for our hearts and mind. And he is endlessly creative. I am confident he will not overdo any pain or sorrow or pleasure.

God is exceedingly jealous over me, wanting all of me, and indeed I feel secure within this, because it is not like the jealousy of the world, of normal human beings. No, this is a jealousy that knows me, on the inside as well as outside, and it is coupled with the knowledge of what is good for me, better than I know it myself. So I want my God to be jealous of me bringing me back whenever I go aside, chasing something stupid. I trust my God.

I want God’s closeness, but that means all of him , even the parts that demand holiness within me, thus he has to rip out and realign me to his word whenever I try to turn aside to some other “god.”.

I feel like this next season – I’m attending God’s school. He is lining up events to conquer, lessons, studies, pains, uncertainties, etc. I am to put aside my childhood and look ahead, focusing on him rather than looking back. Many are his plans for me, unfolding as I walk from step to step holding onto the strong capable hands of the guides of pain and uncertainty (I am referring in part to the book Hinds Feet on High Places and modifying the names of the guides I feel God is using for me.)

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